How We Are Viewed
by azkabcn
Summary: It is important you leave a good impression of yourself. Evelyn Griselda believes this. Her new job requires her to discipline, and that's something she can't do. AU one-shot, done for the 10 Characters,10 Prompts Challenge on WCFC.


**A/N: Entry number four for the 10 Characters/10 Prompts Challenge. Please bear with me since I've never written a Griselda-centric fic before. Oh, and before I forget, there's a BBC Sherlock reference in here somewhere. I'll review a story of whoever finds it. :)**

 **Character: Griselda, Prompt: Public Opinion**

* * *

Mother always told me not to get attached. She said that attachment equals heartbreak.

I feel that this is correct. If you make a friend, there is no guarantee that they will stay friends with you. Circumstances change more often than not, and you find yourself alone. Whereas if you are alone in the first place, you're used to it, and it doesn't hurt.

All _I_ have are my thoughts. And books. I have a whole library of books. My library is filled ceiling-to-floor, wall-to-wall with books. I am only twenty five and I have read every book I have. Twice.

I sit now in the chair in my room. I have another book in my hand, though I am finding it terribly difficult to concentrate on the words on the page.

There are only three days. Three days until I go for my new job. Father has been going on and on at me to get a job. I keep telling him that I don't _need_ a job. I have... other methods to provide for myself. But Father isn't having it. He was the one who wrote to Ida Faragonda to give her my application. The application that he created for me.

Discipline! I don't know a thing about discipline. Even though the dictionary definition of the word is:

\- Discipline: _(noun)_ 1\. The practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience.

I don't know how to train people. I do obey rules. I can't punish people! And they are teenagers! I was also a teenager, not so long ago, but I was not the average teenager. I was not rowdy, or boisterous. These teenagers would be hell to discipline. If I am unable to control them, it will make for a very bad public opinion.

But I doubt it matters. The students at my previous school thought of me as a strange person. They called me a 'weirdo', a 'freak'. I suppose I did portray myself in a strange way. I didn't talk to anyone, I stayed eerily silent, I ate my lunch in a corner of the dining room, I didn't have any friends.

But the last one is because I didn't _want_ friends. I was alone. But alone is what I have; alone protects me. I didn't want to be hurt when the friendship no longer worked out. I wanted to be immune to the break of the heart. I wouldn't know how to deal with it. I wouldn't know what to do.

The words on the page are not registering with my brain. I put the book down on the table beside me and stand up. I have three days before I have to live up to my worst nightmare. Three days before I have to change.

* * *

'You must be Evelyn Griselda,' my new employer says, looking down at my application form on her desk.

'Yes,' I reply, hands in my lap.

'As you know,' she continues. 'I am Ida Faragonda. You are permitted to be on a first name basis in the absence of students. I trust you have taken the disciplinary course that was mentioned in the job application?'

 _Disciplinary course?_ Father didn't tell me of a disciplinary course. 'I wasn't informed of any disciplinary course,' I tell her nervously.

I see her expression harden. 'It was on the job description, Miss Griselda,' she repeats.

'My father received the job description and gave in my application. I did not know anything about it until my interview, and the course wasn't mentioned then.' I swallow. Will she send me back home? Is this another bad impression?

Even though I have no desire for friends, I do not like leaving a bad impression of myself. The 'freak' impression is not a bad impression, it is just... disliked. If Ida thinks I cannot follow the instructions, then I... I've failed. I've failed keeping my father's promise.

 _'You must promise not to give us, the Griselda family, a bad impression, Evelyn. You must solely promise.'_

'Well _,_ Evelyn... I know there are four days till the beginning of the semester. You could...' She hesitates. I can see she doesn't want to do this. 'The course is only three days, you could start it this afternoon?'

Annoyance flashes through my veins; not at the woman sitting in front of me, but at my father. Why couldn't he have told me about this course? Did he _want_ me to fail this job? 'But... Miss Faragonda... surely it is too late now? For me to take the course? Surely you want someone who is able to follow instructions?'

I realise now that I don't want this job. I realise that I'm only here to please my father. I suddenly have an urge to give Ida the worst impression I can just so I can say to Father that she doesn't want me here.

But I can't. My desire to leave a good impression overrides the desire to get out of this room.

Blinking rapidly, I shake myself from my thoughts, tuning in to what Ida is saying. 'In an ideal world, yes,' she says. 'But we do not have the privilege of living in a perfect world.' She pauses, and sucks in a breath. 'And besides, I feel Alfea will progress well with your disciplinary input.'

'But I cannot discipline!' I protest. 'And might I add, learning courses and I do not get on all that well.'

Hopefully, this is it. Hopefully she'll get the message. I cross my fingers underneath the desk.

'Well, I suppose the next best thing is a spell. I don't really want to spell you-'

'Then find someone else,' I screech. 'I don't want this job - I'm only here because my father wanted me to start providing for myself! I don't know anything about discipline, and I don't want to start learning anything about it, either!'

'Evelyn...'

I decide I don't give a stuff about reputation and opinion anymore. Why should I be forced to do something I don't want to?

I grab my bag and jacket from the floor and stand up. 'No,' I say. 'I don't want to do this.'

I leave the room.

 **A/N: Gee, that was hard to write. I've never written Griselda before. Hope you like it anyhow, and thanks for checking it out. (Did you catch the BBC Sherlock reference?)**


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